Helping Your Child During a Hospital Stay

At Golisano Children's Hospital, we recognize that health care experiences and hospitalization can be confusing and scary for children and their families. It is the goal of the Child Life Program to help children cope with these fears and to support families in adjusting to the stress health care experiences often bring.

Be There for Your Child

  • Set aside time to talk, listen, or simply be with your child when he or she needs attention.
  • Be available during times when your child may be most likely to worry such as before bedtime or early in the morning.
  • Stay overnight when possible. The younger your child is, the more important it is for you to stay with him or her.
  • When you have to leave, tell your child where you're going and when you'll return. Don't forget to tell the shift nurse, too.
    • Be sure to tell your child who will be taking care of him or her while you're away.
    • Give your child something of yours to hold onto to help him or her feel connected to you.
    • If possible, call your child's room while you're away.
    • Arrange for visits by people who your child knows.

Take Care of Yourself so You Can Take Care of Them

You'll have more energy to help your child if you take breaks at reasonable intervals.

  • Ask relatives and friends to space their visits so they can provide relief for you.
  • Make a list of specific things people can do to help so you're ready with some alternatives when they ask.
  • Take time each day just for yourself—no errands or other responsibilities.
  • If you start to feel overwhelmed, don't be afraid to ask for professional help. Your child's nurse can contact a social worker or chaplain on your behalf.

Share Your Observations With Your Child's Healthcare Team

You're not only the best person to interpret your child's needs and wants for his or her healthcare team, but also to monitor improvements or spot anything that seems unusual.

Treat Your Child as Normally as Possible

It's not unusual for children to act differently in the hospital from how they act at home. But, even though your child is ill, it's a good idea to try to try to maintain some sense of "life as usual."

  • Help your child stick to a structured daily schedule.
  • Be as active in your child's care as his or her condition will allow (just ask your nurse about where to get supplies, how to negotiate past bandages and tubes, and how to help your child relax). And try to retain as many rituals from home as possible:
    • Help to feed and bathe younger children.
    • Watch favorite TV programs together.
    • Include your hospitalized child in the same family decisions he or she would be involved in under ordinary circumstances.
  • Observe usual family rules as much as possible. Keeping to familiar limits helps children feel secure.
  • Bring favorite possessions from home. (Be sure to label all personal possessions with your child's name.)
  • Bring your child's schoolwork to the hospital. Staying involved in school helps children stay in touch with life outside the hospital. Check with your school if you need to plan for tutoring. Child life specialists can also assist in coordinating school work and tutoring. Our schoolroom is available and equipped for small group and individual tutoring. Internet accessible computers are available.
  • Help your child stay in touch with family and friends through phone calls, letter writing, photos, or videos.

Encourage Children to be Children

Play and interaction with other children can be a vital part of the healing process.

  • If your child's activity is restricted, talk to a child life specialist about bedside recreational activities.
  • Take your child to the playroom as soon as he or she is able.
  • Persuade your child to participate in activities and special programs offered by your child life specialists.

Help Your Child Feel More Confident and in Control

  • Show that you trust the doctors and nurses. Present them as people who care and are there to help.
  • Prepare your child for the cross section of other patients he or she will see. Help you child understand that despite outward differences, these people are just like everyone else on the inside.
  • Find ways to give your child choices. They can be as simple as:
    • Choosing a Band-Aid color or design
    • Deciding arm to use for a blood pressure check
    • Choosing between taking a toy or a blanket to the treatment room
    • Having you hold him or her during a procedure instead of a nurse
  • Older children develop a heightened need for privacy. You and the hospital staff can help by:
    • Knocking before entering your child's room.
    • Being sensitive to who is around during procedures or examinations.
    • Designating "private times" when your child won't be disturbed.
  • Encourage older children to take responsibility for as much of their own care as possible.
  • If your child shows more than normal anxiety, check with your medical team to see if they can create "safe zones" where painful procedures aren't done.
  • Talk about what you want do together when your child leaves the hospital.

Have Questions?

If you have questions about your child's condition or would like information about a test or treatment the Ask A Medical Librarian (AAML) service offered by the Edward G. Miner Library at the University of Rochester Medical Center will provide it for you.

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