For Nurses
I'd Still Be A Nurse Because...
I was working in the Post Anesthesia Care Unit and it was my turn to take care if the next patient that was wheeled in through the door. Her sad story arrived ahead of her; Moira was a mother who had just lost her son in a terrible, tragic accident just one week earlier. I was nervous about what her emotional status would be and what I could possibly say to her. I had heard the news reports and knew the events surrounding the accident. Her son could have survived, but his girlfriend was trapped and he went back in a vain effort to free her. Both died at the scene.
Moira's stress had made an existing health condition worse and she needed surgery to correct it. For one hour she would be in my care. I prayed that she would be asleep.
She was awake and, I don't know whether it was the effects of the anesthesia or just her need to talk to someone, but she very calmly started to relay the entire experience to me. Moira didn't cry... she said she was all out of tears. I just listened.
Moira told me about her son, and how the accident happened. She told me about every detail of the funeral, and how her son's friends wrote eulogies on his coffin. She told me that for a few days she wished he'd never gone back to help his girlfriend. She knew that he would never have been able to live with himself knowing he had done nothing to save her. She told me that she thought he was incredibly brave and I agreed. Then she asked me about my family. My son was exactly the same age as her son. She said I should cherish him and tell him every day how much I love him.
I learned a lot about strength that day. I only took care of her for one hour, but she made a lasting impression on my life. When I took her up to her room and said goodbye, we held each other and I told her I would never forget her. This was over 12 years ago and I still think of her often. I have learned over the years that it is impossible to separate the nurse in us from every other aspect of who we are. We can take off the scrubs at the end of the shift, but the impact of what we do and those we come into contact with never leaves us. It becomes us. I've been a nurse for 30 years and I am still in the process of "becoming." Each person I meet continually helps to define all of me. People like Moira have taught me compassion and the importance of humanizing my care.
