Helping Others Understand Your Migraine
When you have a migraine, you may get mixed reactions from family and friends. Some
may be worried, while others may get frustrated. You and your loved ones will benefit
if they understand your condition and how best to help. Talk about the headaches and
the problems they cause.
The first step is to make sure you are getting correct treatment for your migraines.
Medicine is available to help ease the pain of a migraine. If medicine doesn't provide
relief, discuss the problem with your healthcare provider and share your concerns
with family and friends. Migraine prevention often involves life changes and getting
others to help you is essential. For instance, reducing stress, having a regular schedule
for meals and sleep, and staying away from factors that trigger a headache.
Communication counts
You may not talk about your migraines out of fear of being labeled a complainer. Or
you may not want to burden your family by sharing your pain. Keep in mind that miscommunication
leads to misunderstanding. This in turn can lead to stress, a common trigger for a
migraine.
Try discussing your migraines when you’re not in pain. Tell loved ones:
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What symptoms signal an impending headache (an aura, for example)
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What happens during your headache (you may be sensitive to light or sounds, or feel
nauseated)
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What you need to help you cope while you have a headache (you may need to lie in a
dark room, for instance)
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What medicines you take to help prevent headaches
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How long a headache lasts
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How often you have a headache
Let them know how they can help—even if it’s just by leaving you alone to rest. Share
information from your healthcare provider or articles you have read about migraines
so that they can understand more about your condition.
Encourage your partner, children, and friends to express their worries and ask questions.
Children may be afraid that you are going to die of your migraines or that they somehow
cause them. Friends and partners may feel neglected, overwhelmed, and unsure how to
help. Communicating these fears can help everyone handle your migraines better.
Set rules for these conversations. Don't use language that blames or punishes. And
take a break if tempers flare.
Take a team approach
Make a migraine action plan that your family can be a part of. For example, list household
duties that you need help with when you’re dealing with a headache and assign a person
to do each. Let your family know that certain signals, such as lying in bed with the
shades drawn, mean that you can’t come down for dinner or even talk, and that they
should make plans without you.
When you have a migraine, you can feel quite debilitated. But when you’re feeling
good, though, you’re likely quite productive. If friends or family are overly helpful
or offer unsolicited advice, tell them that you’ve got a treatment plan worked out
with your healthcare provider. It’s good to have help, but when people do too much,
it can make you feel less capable.
Most important, be flexible and positive. Migraines may sideline you from time to
time, but be sure to schedule a full social and family life for the times you are
headache-free.