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Bereavement Support

Golisano Children's Hospital / Bereavement Support / Helping Children Cope / Goodbye From Afar

 

Helping Children Say Goodbye from Afar

Helping Children Say Goodbye from AfarChildren cope best when you are honest about the death of a loved one. Use the words “dying” and “dead.” Young children can be confused by vague terms like “in a better place” or “went away.” Reading a children’s book about death can help, such as The Goodbye Book by Todd Parr for younger children, and Lifetimes by Mellonie & Ingpen for older children. Fire in my Heart, Ice in my Veins by Enid Traisman is an interactive journal for grieving teens.

Children need opportunities to say goodbye to a loved one who is dying. Visiting in the hospital may not always be possible. Sometimes a video chat or phone call is possible. You can also help your child express their thoughts and emotions through play. Here are some ideas of other ways to “say goodbye.”

  • Write a letter to your loved one. You can have someone at the hospital read it out loud for you.
  • Draw a picture of your loved one.
  • Write a poem or a song about them. Share it out loud – alone, for your family, or make a recording to send to the hospital.
  • Read a book or poem that reminds you of your loved one.
  • Choose a special item that belonged to your loved one that you can keep. (Make sure this item is safe, durable, and age appropriate if your child is young.)
  • Choose a piece of clothing that belonged to your loved one. You can wear it, or make it into a pillow.
  • Make a list of things you learned from your loved one.
  • Plant a tree, flower, or bury a time capsule. Make a stone garden in memory of your loved one.
  • Try out an activity or hobby that your loved one used to enjoy.
  • Look at photos of your loved one. Make a scrapbook. Talk about your memories of them.
  • Listen to music that reminds you of your loved one. Make a playlist of their favorite songs.

These ideas are just a place to start. There are as many creative ideas to say goodbye to a loved one as there are children to remember them. Ask your child what they would like to do to say goodbye, to grieve, and to remember their loved one.

Print: Helping Children Say Goodbye from Afar