Caitlin Burzynski, Medical Student
Inner Dialogue
Oh boy, history of cocaine addiction, hypertension, depression, PTSD, arrest in 2010…, we’re in for a lengthy visit
Maybe this doctor will have time to actually talk to me about my problems
Should I ask how sobriety is going, she probably won’t answer honestly
I’ve been sober for 6 months, peeing in a cup still makes me flinch
First child removed from her care, can’t believe she’s pregnant again
I’m so excited about this pregnancy; it’s a blessing and my motivation to stay sober for my son and this new child
Still living in a halfway house, probably should check the exam room for bedbugs after she leaves
I couldn’t have made it this far without the support from my sisters at the house
Always gives excuses for why the job search isn’t going well
I feel like I’m drowning under the weight of staying sober while working so hard to get my life together
She doesn’t seem to get that her hypertension is such a big deal during pregnancy, how hard is it to take a medication once a day?
Did I remember to do my chores at the house before leaving? Will my judge allow me to start seeing my son on weekends again? Will my case manager actually come through with helping me get that job? Man, pregnancy really makes me have to pee…
Seems reluctant to talk about how her moods have been, really distracted, hard to engage
Maybe she’ll think that “fine” means “fine”, and not a daily rollercoaster of anxiety, sadness, and fear
Should probably probe deeper, but we’re running really short on time
Talking about my health is such a trigger, I’m itching for this to be over
I hope she trusts me, is she even listening?
I hope she trusts me, is she even listening?