Helping a Friend with an Addiction
When a friend shows signs of abusing alcohol or other drugs, it's hard to know what
to do or say. Addiction may also be called "substance use disorder."
Drug abuse refers to a deliberate decision to use alcohol, an illegal drug, or a medicine
in an unsafe way. Drug abuse can lead to addiction.
Substance use disorders are classified as mild, moderate, or severe based on symptoms.
Addiction means losing control over your drug use. It reflects a severe substance
use disorder. Addiction interferes with one's insight into knowing how or when to
Addiction begins with alcohol or drug abuse. Drugs and alcohol interfere with normal
brain functioning. But they also have a long-term effect on the brain. At some point,
changes happen in the brain that can turn drug and alcohol abuse into addiction.
Addiction can be physical, psychological, or both.
Physical addiction. A person's body becomes dependent on the drug. It needs more and more of it to get
the same effect. This is called tolerance. When the person stops using the drug, they
may have withdrawal symptoms. Alcohol or benzodiazepine withdrawal can be dangerous
and may need inpatient monitoring and treatment to be done safely.
Psychological addiction. A person's mind craves the feeling that the drug gives. Or the person feels emotionally
awful when they stop using the drug. The person can be overcome by the desire to get
more of the drug.
Research has shown that addiction is a brain disorder. It's just as life-threatening
as heart disease, diabetes, or emphysema. It can even be more life-threatening than
these conditions. Like other long-term (chronic) illnesses, people with an addiction
can have periods of relapse and recovery. The behavior and social symptoms of addiction
can hurt family, friends, or coworkers. But you may be in the best position to help
the addict understand the need to seek treatment. Most people who are in recovery
say they got help because a friend or relative was honest with them about their drinking
or drug use.
Making the decision to help
When deciding if you should speak to your friend, you may have some concerns, such
Fear or mixed feelings about getting involved in someone else's life. Just remember,
addiction to alcohol or other drugs is a leading cause of death.
You believe someone else will say something. But it's important not to wait for someone
else to step up.
You may feel hurt by your friend's past actions or behaviors. So it's important to
take responsibility for your feelings, too.
It's also important to have an idea about the amount of alcohol or drug abuse. Think
about how it is affecting your friend as well as others. If your friend has alcohol-
or drug-related problems, they need help.
When a person has a psychological or emotional craving for a drug, you may see certain
symptoms. Your friend may:
See drugs or alcohol as a solution, not the problem
Take drugs or alcohol in larger and larger amounts or over a longer time
Be preoccupied with getting drugs or drinking alcohol
Steal or sell their things to buy drugs or alcohol
Feel anxious, grouchy, depressed
Withdraw from contact with friends and family
Lose interest in school, work, or hobbies
Socialize with others who abuse drugs or drink to excess
Have mood swings
Have problems at work and at home
Has trouble with relationships
Take part in dangerous behavior, such as driving while drunk or high-risk sex
When a person’s body becomes dependent on a drug, you may see some of the following
Needs more drugs or alcohol for the same effect
Weight loss or weight gain
Physical withdrawal symptoms when not taking the drug or drinking
How to talk
The following can help you talk with your friend:
Don't try to talk when your friend is drunk or high. It's also a good idea to meet
in a quiet, neutral place. But not at a bar or any place else that serves alcohol.
Talk about the effect your friend's drinking or drug use has on whatever the person
cares about most, such as career or children. Your friend may not be concerned about
their own situation. But they may care deeply for their children and what the problem
may be doing to them.
Be prepared for a variety of reactions, from sadness to anger. Think through how you
will respond to each reaction, including exiting the situation if it gets out-of-hand.
Be aware of treatment or recovery resources available in your community. Find the
local phone number for Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) or Narcotics Anonymous (NA). Learn
what treatment resources are available in your area by calling your state's Office
of Substance Abuse Services or searching the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services
Administration's treatment locator. This website also has treatment locators specifically for opiate abuse.
If your friend doesn't want to go to AA or NA, talk with other people who know and
care about your friend to see if they have other ideas. Also consider getting support
for yourself, such as Al-Anon or Nar-Anon. These are networks of support groups for family and friends of people with substance