It Might Not Be What You Think: Understanding Unhelpful Thoughts

By Mariel Brueckman, LMHC-D

Our minds are constantly making connections to interpret what is happening now. What we’ve experienced in the past determines what we feel, and what we will do next. Many of our thoughts occur automatically, without us even being aware of all the work happening behind the scenes. According to the cognitive model, our automatic thoughts often reflect how we view ourselves, others, and the situations happening around us. While automatic thoughts help us save energy and navigate daily life, they can also lead us to conclusions that are biased, inaccurate, or unhelpful. These unhelpful automatic thoughts are called cognitive distortions.    

Cognitive distortions can begin as a way that our brains try to protect us or help us make sense of difficult situations. Imagine that someone is expecting the worst-case scenario as they prepare for a difficult conversation with a friend. The individual may automatically think that this discussion will result in the end of the friendship. They begin to feel nervous, rehearse the conversation multiple times in their head, and end up losing sleep. When they talk to their friend, the conversation goes much better than expected, and they initially feel some relief. It’s incredibly natural to get caught in unhelpful patterns occasionally. However, imagine if this same individual begins having the same thought pattern before any difficult conversation they anticipate. Over time, cognitive distortions can lead to increased stress, and contribute to low-self-esteem, anxiety, and depression. They can also negatively affect our relationships and make everyday challenges feel harder to manage.

Review the list of cognitive distortions below and reflect on which thought patterns you have experienced.

• Mindreading: Believing that you know what others are thinking without sufficient evidence.

Example: “They must think I’m stupid after I asked that question.”

• Fortune-telling: Predicting the outcome of an event and believing that your prediction is certain to happen.

Example: “I know our conversation is going to go poorly.”

• Catastrophizing: Expecting the worst possible outcome without sufficient evidence.

Example: “If I do poorly in this presentation, I’ll get fired and won’t be able to find another job.”

• All-or-nothing thinking: Thinking in extremes without considering the full spectrum of possibilities.

Example: “I need to exercise every day or else it’s not worth it to exercise at all.”

• Magnification or minimization: Exaggerating or downplaying the importance of events.

Example: An individual experiences a headache and believes they must have a severe illness.

• Emotional reasoning: Evaluating yourself, others, or events using emotions alone.

Example: “I feel guilty, therefore I must be a bad person.”

• Labeling: Reducing yourself or others to fixed traits based on a singular event or observation.

Example: You get cut off in traffic by someone driving a truck and think: “Everyone who drives a truck is a jerk.”

• Mental filtering: Hyper-focusing on one negative detail without considering the bigger picture.

Example: Fixating on one critique and ignoring positive feedback during a performance review.

• Overgeneralization: Creating a fixed rule or pre-determined outcome based on one isolated event.

Example: “I failed my exam. I’m bad at taking tests.”

• Personalization: Assuming you are responsible for other’s behaviors or negative outcomes.

Example: “They probably cancelled our lunch plans because they don’t want to spend time with me.”

• Should statements: Believing that things must be a certain way.

Example: “It happened a year ago, I shouldn’t feel upset anymore.”

• Disqualifying the positive: Invalidating or dismissing positive traits or events.

Example: “I only got the promotion because there was no one better available. I’m not actually good at my job.”

Recognizing cognitive distortions is the first step in changing them. Once you become aware of unhelpful thought patterns, you can start questioning them and replacing them with more balanced ways of thinking. Since we aren’t always aware of our automatic thoughts, challenging them can take practice. But over time, having more flexible and rational thoughts can have a significantly positive impact on our mental health. The next time you catch yourself experiencing unhelpful thoughts, consider trying the following:   

1. Acknowledge & label cognitive distortion.

“I am assuming that the conversation will go poorly before it has happened. This is fortune-telling.”

2. Challenge the thought by asking yourself questions to review the evidence.

          - What evidence do I have to support this?

          - Am I leaving any information out that would contradict this?

          - Is this thought based on facts or feelings?

          - What would I tell a friend if they were going through this situation?

          - What is the most likely outcome?

3. Come up with a new, more realistic thought based on the facts.

“I don’t know how the conversation will go. Uncertainty is challenging to deal with. Assuming that things will go wrong likely won’t change the outcome.”

If you find yourself struggling with unhelpful thinking, therapy at Behavioral Health Partners may help. Behavioral Health Partners is brought to you by Well-U, offering eligible individuals mental health services for stress, anxiety, depression, and ADHD. To schedule an intake appointment, call (585) 276-6900.

 

References:

Beck, J. S. (2020). CBT worksheet packet (2020 ed.). Beck Institute for Cognitive Behavior Therapy.

Rnic, K., Dozois, D. J. A., & Martin, R. A. (2016). Cognitive distortions, humor styles, and depression. Europe's Journal of Psychology, 12(3), 348–362. https://doi.org/10.5964/ejop.v12i3.1118

Wang, X., Zhou, Y., & Zhou, G. (2025). Unveiling the cognitive burden: The impact of stigma on distorted thinking among individuals living with hepatitis B. International Journal of Clinical and Health Psychology, 25(1), Article 100556. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.ijchp.2025.100556

Global Administrator | 9/1/2026